You've Got This: The Power of Self-Compassion for Autism Caregivers

Almost ten years ago, I stepped into a classroom of children with autism, thinking, "I've got this." I had already been teaching kids with disabilities for years. But the truth hit me fast—each autistic child is entirely unique. 

Suddenly, what I thought I knew wasn't enough. I struggled, I felt overwhelmed, and there were days I even called myself "stupid" for not having all the answers. On top of that came the paperwork, IEPs, endless meetings, and other responsibilities outside work. Honestly, there were moments I wanted to quit.

If you're an autism caregiver, maybe you know that same kind of exhaustion. The never-ending to-do list—therapies, meltdowns, transitions, work, family. It's so easy to give everything you have and forget your needs. I once told a parent, "I hope you can find a little time to relax," and they laughed and said, "Relax? What's that?" It's no wonder that many caregivers are exhausted and running on empty- I was one of them. 

Constantly sacrificing your well-being results in burnout. If you're one of the caregivers who is burned out or on the brink of burning out, this is the time for you to give yourself permission to relax and spend some time for yourself and show yourself some love and compassion.

Research shows that self-compassion—treating yourself with the same kindness you give your child—actually helps you cope with stress, regulate emotions, and sustain long-term caregiving. Instead of asking, "Am I doing enough?" try asking, "Am I giving myself the same patience and love I give my child?" and "Am I giving myself care the way I give my child and other people I love?"

5 Self-Compassion Practices for Caregivers

1. Pause and Breathe (Even for 2 Minutes)

Set aside just two minutes to inhale deeply, notice your body, and release any tension. Small pauses in between transitions can help re-center your nervous system and give you the calm your child can sense. 

2. Replace Self-Criticism with Gentle Words

How we talk to ourselves is very important for our well-being. Our body listens to our self-talk, and we attract what we mostly say to ourselves. Be gentle with words. Your words can build or destroy you and your child. When the day feels hard, instead of saying, "I should be stronger," or I can't do this," try, "This is tough, and I'm doing my best." Words matter—they can transform stress into strength.

3. Build Micro-Moments of Joy

Joy doesn't always mean big vacations. It can be sipping your coffee or tea in peace, stepping outside for sunshine, or enjoying a favorite song. Notice those micro-moments—they recharge you more than you realize. What makes you happy? Commit to making time for them.

4. Lean on Your Circle

Whether it's family, friends, or a caregiver support group, let others in. Asking for help is not a weakness—it's a sign of wisdom. Who in your circle can you trust and feel comfortable with? Start there. Don't be afraid to ask for help when needed. When you seek out help, I know you will find it.

My new book, 'You've Got This: A Handbook for Navigating Autism with Confidence,' contains different ways to find your support group. Order your copy now.

5. Give Yourself Permission to Rest

Rest is not a reward; it's a requirement. Just like your child needs sleep and downtime, so do you. Check your schedule and identify which activities you don't have to do or that will not contribute to your goals. Start saying "no" to them and replace them with time to rest or doing something you love.

Things to Ponder

Loving caregiver, you're not failing on the hard days—you're showing up. And showing up is love. As you guide your child through school transitions, therapies, and daily life, remember that your peace and well-being matter too. 

If this message resonates with you, I invite you to explore my book, 'You've Got This: A Handbook for Navigating Autism with Confidence. '

It's filled with guidance and practical strategies to help you care for your child and yourself with love and compassion. Because you're not just a caregiver—you're a human being who deserves peace, joy, and self-compassion. 

With love,

Dolly Tampos Oksman

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About Dolly

Dolly Tampos Oksman, MA, MAED-SPED, is a Transformational Speaker, Author, Certified Wellness Coach, Special Education Teacher, and Behavior Analyst. She is the Founder and Owner of Love. Heal. Believe. LLC.

Dolly experienced chronic stress that affected her mental and emotional health. However, when she entered the convent to be a missionary nun, she learned the secrets of how to live a fulfilled life with inner peace and joy. Today, she is sharing those secrets with you.

Dolly is on a mission to help you develop a deeper love for yourself and find long-term solutions to stress. Her new book, Finding Your Lost Self, which is also available on AMAZON and her programs & Services will take you on a step-by-step journey to a happier, healthier, and calmer life with less stress. 

Please contact Dolly HERE.