Walking the Autism Journey with Faith, Not Fear

By Dolly Tampos Oksman

When was the first time you heard the news, "Your child has autism?"

Perhaps your world stops, your thoughts swirl, and your heart starts racing with questions you never thought you'd ask.

Parents and caregivers have different reactions to this news. Some are scared and ask, "What will happen to my child?" Some are mad and upset. "Why, my child? "Did I do something wrong?" Some deny it. 

What was your response? 

No matter what your reaction is, the most common questions parents ask are:

"How will I handle this?" 

If that's where you are right now and you don't know what to do, please know this: you are not alone. 

As a special education teacher, autism specialist, and wellness coach, I've sat beside countless parents and caregivers who are walking this same road. Their hearts are heavy but hopeful. They are trying their best to figure out what's next. And as a woman of faith, I've learned that the path from fear to peace begins with TRUST. Trust in God, trust in your inner strength and wisdom, trust in people who care.

How will you transform your fear into trust?

1. Acknowledge Your Fear

Fear is a natural response. This emotion is a gift that helps us survive and flourish. However, fear can paralyze many caregivers who hear the word autism. Fear of the unknown, fear of judgment, fear of not being enough. It shows up the moment we realize that the road ahead won't look like what we imagined.

But fear isn't your enemy. It's a messenger. It reminds you of how deeply you love your child and family. When you allow yourself to pause, breathe, and acknowledge, "I'm scared, and that's okay," you open the door to something greater: grace and inner peace.

In my book, You've Got This: A Handbook for Navigating Autism with Confidence, I write about this moment as the "holy pause." It's the space where you stop fighting your emotions and start listening to them. Where faith whispers, "You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to show up with love and faith.

Remember Faith Doesn't Erase Fear, but it Transforms It.

I used to think faith meant being fearless. That to "trust" meant I couldn't question, cry, or doubt. But faith isn't about pretending everything is fine; it's about holding onto light even when it's dim. Faith says, "I don't know how this will unfold, but I know I'm not walking alone."

For many caregivers, that faith looks like prayer. For others, it's quiet reflection, deep breathing, journaling, or simply sitting beside their child and feeling a sense of peace rise between heartbeats. However you define it, faith is the gentle strength that holds your shaking hands.

Every small act of love, every therapy session attended, every meltdown comforted, every tear wiped away is an act of faith. 

2. Learn to Let Go of the "Perfect" Picture.

To grow in faith, one of the most important things you need to learn is to let go of perfection.

Maybe your child doesn't follow typical milestones. Playdates may look different, or communication takes more time. But different doesn't mean less.

There's a sacred beauty in rewriting the definition of "normal." The moment you release a comparison, you make room for connection.

One of the hardest lessons I've learned, both as a teacher and a coach, is that perfection doesn't bring peace, but your presence. You show up every day for your child. When things don't go the way you imagined, be okay and be compassionate with yourself.

When I wrote You've Got This, my deepest desire was to help parents and caregivers release the weight of shoulds and supposed tos. Because your child doesn't need a perfect parent. What they need is a calm, accepting, and compassionate one.

Peace begins when you look at your child, not through the lens of diagnosis, but through the eyes of love. You'll start to notice joy in what others perceive as minor victories, such as a glance, a giggle, or when you hear them saying a word. Those are miracles, too. This is the reason why I love my job. Those small victories, however, make me excited to come to work every single day. 

3. Faith Flourishes  Through Community

The autism journey can be lonely, and you may feel like you're on an island no one else understands. But a supportive community is where fear starts to dissolve.

Surround yourself with people who get it.  Every story shared, every nod of understanding, every "me too" moment is a reminder that your struggle has meaning and your strength is contagious. In my book, You've Got This! You will learn about various support groups and how to participate in them.

Faith is often strengthened in community through encouragement, laughter, and sometimes just quiet presence. I've witnessed the healing that occurs when people share stories and realize they were never meant to face this journey alone.

4. Remember that You Can Have Both Faith and Fatigue

I want to say this with love, you can have a very strong faith and still feel very  tired. You can trust and still cry. You can pray and still have bad days. This is especially true when you have multiple responsibilities and you're still human. Therefore, tell yourself, It's okay to rest.

Faith doesn't erase your humanity; it embraces it. You're doing your best and that's enough.

Some days, the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap, order takeout, or let the laundry and dishes wait. Caring for yourself is sacred work. When you nourish your spirit, you teach your child that peace is possible even in the middle of challenges.

5. Faith is Your Pathway to Inner Peace

Peace is not something you find when everything is perfect. It's something you create in the middle of imperfection.

Faith is the quiet anchor that reminds you that your story, your child, and your life are unfolding exactly as they should.

You don't have to rush the process or take care of everything today. You just have to keep showing up, one moment at a time, with love leading your way.

📖 Why I Wrote You've Got This

I saw too many caregivers running on empty. They are full of love but lost in overwhelm. I want to share with them what I learned, the secret to inner calm and peace. This is also my way of assuring you, "You are seen, you are supported, and you've got this!"

Inside the book, I share insights from my years as a special education teacher and wellness coach. You learn practical tools to reduce stress, nurture peace, and rediscover yourself beyond the caregiving role. You will also learn some knowledge that would allow you to be an empowered advocate for your child.

💌 An Invitation to you.

If this message resonates with you, I invite you to read 'You've Got This!'

Let it be your reminder that your love is powerful, your faith is enough, and your journey is sacred. 

You can find the book on Amazon, on Etsy and through my website, lovehealbelieve.com.

As you turn each page, may you feel God's gentle whisper reminding you:

"You are not alone. You are loved. And you've got this."

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About the author

Dolly Tampos Oksman, MA, MAED-SPED, is a Transformational Speaker, Author, Certified Wellness Coach, Special Education Teacher, and Behavior Analyst. She is the Founder and Owner of Love. Heal. Believe. LLC.

Dolly experienced chronic stress that affected her mental and emotional health. However, when she entered the convent to be a missionary nun, she learned the secrets of how to live a fulfilled life with inner peace and joy. Today, she is sharing those secrets with you.

Dolly is on a mission to help you develop a deeper love for yourself and find long-term solutions to stress. Her new book, Finding Your Lost Self, which is also available on AMAZON and her programs & Services will take you on a step-by-step journey to a happier, healthier, and calmer life with less stress. 

Please contact Dolly HERE.