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How to Set Boundaries to Enjoy Healthier Relationships

The boundaries you set in your relationships are a reflection of your self-esteem.

Do you feel overwhelmed and stressed out in your relationships?

You love your husband, children, or friends, but they make you feel drained and irritated. You sometimes feel guilty because you want to run away from them.

If you feel this way, it is time for you to evaluate your boundaries.

Your boundary is the line that you set between yourself and others. All relationships need boundaries to remain healthy. Imagine your house. How do you feel when other people just come in and out of your home without permission? I bet you feel upset, and you might even call a cop. You know that it is not good and violates your property's rights when people come into your physical space without your consent.

Relationships are like that too. You need to set your limits and mark your boundaries so that others will not abuse you. Boundaries help to determine how much you give and receive from a relationship.

The boundaries you set in your relationships are a reflection of your self-esteem.

When you have low self-esteem, you are usually a people-pleaser and constantly seek approval. Hence, you overextend yourself and struggle to set boundaries. Therefore, improving your self-esteem is very important to be comfortable setting healthy boundaries.

You can join our Self-Love Blueprint program to help you improve your self-esteem.

How will you set boundaries?

Try these strategies to help set empowering boundaries for yourself and someone you love.

1. Identify your core values. What is important to you? Then, set your boundaries by not doing the things that are not important, or you are not comfortable. For example, if you value your privacy, you set limits on what you will share. Even when you are married, you still have the option of what you will disclose to your husband and what you want to keep.

2. Communicate your parameters and be honest with how you feel when they are disrespected.

Tell others your limits, especially with members of your family and friends. Clearly express how it affects you when they step

into your boundaries. For example, let your spouse know if you don't like him digging into your purse because you feel your privacy is violated. Also, let your friends know if you don't want them to just show up at your door without notice.

3. Determine the consequences when someone violates your boundaries. For example, what will you do when someone disrespects your time by consistently showing up late to your meeting? What will you do when your husband or someone you love violates your personal or mental space? Some women are physically abused by their spouses because they struggle to set boundaries and impose consequences for those who break them.

4. Be consistent. People like to test your limits. As a teacher, I experience this a lot. Some students, especially during the first week of school, will try to see your limits and push you to know when you give in. Your children can be like this too. They will test your limits. When you set your boundaries, you must guard your boundaries by not changing the rules you set. Otherwise, you will not be taken seriously. Instead, follow through and keep your words.

5. Know what you really want.

For example, what's your goal or vision for your future and your life. Then determine your negotiable and non-negotiable. When you do this, it is easier to say "No!" to things that don't matter and "Yes" to what matters to you.

6. Respect other people's boundaries. If you want other people to respect your boundaries, you must also respect theirs. The Golden Rule states, "Do not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you." Hence, if you want your husband to listen to you, listen to him. If you don't want your husband to go over your phone without permission, don't do it to him.

We are social beings. We need each other to flourish in this world. However, If you don't set your boundaries, people may take advantage of you, including your loved ones.

Let the world know what you feel, think, and need. You'll gain the respect of others and feel better about yourself. You are precious and deserve respect, but you must give it to yourself first. Show people that you respect yourself by setting boundaries.

What's Next?

Enroll in our courses to help you develop a deeper love for yourself and learn how to connect with the Divine in you. As a result, you can be your best self and have peace of mind and happy and less stressful life.

If you want help creating a self-care habit, join us in our 7-Day Self-Love Challenge here.

Also, stay tuned for our upcoming Podcast, 'The Path to Bliss.' with Laura Sanchez-Ramirez and me. The Path to Bliss Podcast is for you if you want to learn more about how to live a life where you experience more happiness with purpose and meaning.


Dolly Tampos Oksman

Certified Transformational and Wellness Coach



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