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Writer's picturedollyoksman

HOW TO DEVELOP SELF-CONTROL


In this blog, I will talk about self-control, which I also refer to self-mastery.





Galatians 5:22-23 in the Bible talks about the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

These are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

In this blog, I will talk about self-control, which I also refer to self-mastery.


I grew up in a squatter area in the Philippines. Many people are materially poor. I have mostly good memories growing up in our place. Many of my neighbors are generous and kind. I enjoyed playing with the children. I learned teamwork and being resilient.


I love our place, but I also have to admit that I wanted to get out of that area and take my parents, siblings, nephews, and nieces because of the violence I saw there.


The houses there were really close to each other. So we can hear it when our neighbors were fighting and screaming at each other.


One day, I froze, seeing two of our neighbors trying to stab each other because of disagreement. A scene like this happened a lot of times in our place.


I remember I had friends who were scared to come and visit me when they learned where I live.


The violence that I was exposed to impacted me one way or another. I used to have raged within me when it was provoked.

I was raised in a Christian Catholic family. My mom and my grandma taught us the concept of heaven and hell. They will tell us the characteristics of people who will go to hell and who will go to heaven.


I was afraid to go to hell, but I also think that I might go to hell because of that rage that I felt when someone gets on my nerve.


I was afraid of the possible things that will happen if I'm not able to control it.


As a child, my mom told me to pray and ask God when there are things that I needed help with. So I asked God to help me with my anger.

I could not recollect who taught me how to channel my anger, but I learn different ways to redirect my rage. I can say that God listens to my prayers.


I learned to bite my tongue to control myself when I am about to curse and scream unwanted words to others.


I learned to run to my room and hit pillows. I also learned to doodle my anger away!


In high school, I started to read the Bible.


I learned about the fruits of the Holy Spirit. I prayed to God to help me grow in the fruit of the Holy Spirit, especially with self-control.

I see many people who are famous but lose their status because of a lack of self-control.


People are where they are not supposed to be because they are not able to control themselves.


Some people lost their jobs, lost their loved ones, lost their livelihood and lives because they gave in to their impulses.


According to Proverbs 25:28, "A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls."


What is self-control?

Wikipedia says that it is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behavior in the face of temptations and impulses.


What are the characteristics of people who have self-control?

Here are some characteristics of people who have self-mastery

  1. They know how to handle their emotions and feelings. They are not acting according to their moods or according to what they feel or emotions.

  2. They think before they open their mouths. They understand the power of words and so are mindful of what they say.

  3. They don't act according to their impulses. They learn the virtue of patience and waiting.


How to develop self-control

Self-control is vital for our success in life, especially in our relationships. Hence, It is essential to develop self-control.


Here are some of the ways I find helpful in developing self-control.


Pray. I believe in the power of prayers. Tapping to the source of strength through prayers is the first step we need to take to develop self-control.


Be self-aware. You cannot control what you do not know. Develop or enhance your self-awareness to know your triggers and understand them so that you can control them from the root.

Reduce your stress. Living a stressful life will lower your ability to control yourself. When you are under too much pressure, your survival mode will lead you to fight or flight. When you are always tired or exhausted, you will become easily irritated. You may lose control of your responses.


Self-control can be challenging, but it is easier when you are navigating your life awake.


Please share this blog with the person you know who may benefit from this.


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