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Many of our negative thoughts are not real, but they become real to you as you keep thinking about it. As they say, you become what you think.


Do your friends think of you as a complainer?

Do you always see the negative things in life?

Do you feel unhappy more often?

Maybe you are aware or not, but our thoughts may become our reality.

According to Buddha, "What you think, you become."

The truth, we human beings are wired to think negatively.

Why do we have negative thoughts?

I want to give you a minute right now to stop and pay attention to what you are thinking.

For 1 minute, I want you to close your eyes, take three deep breaths, and then follow your regular breathing.

Now, pay attention to your thoughts. When you are ready. Take note of what you were thinking.

What is your thought pattern? Is it concern, worry, happy thoughts, fear about something? Can you say that your thoughts are mostly negative? Or maybe you are thinking of positive, but there are hints of negative thoughts?

Well, if you say "YES!" Welcome to the club and congratulations, YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING! YAY!

Our brain is wired to think negatively for survival.

Can you imagine walking in a dark alley and a robber with a gun following you? Imagine if your automatic response is to think positively about that person. What do you think will happen to you? You will be easily robbed.

If you look at basic emotions, they are mostly negative except for JOY- Remember Inside-Out? Fear, Disgust, Sadness, and Surprise, these are all perceived as negative emotions. But as far as I am concerned, I consider them as a signal that you might be in danger.

You have all those emotions to protect you from danger and harm. These are hard-wired in our brains from our ancestors because they live in the Wild and deal with wild animals and harsh Climate.

If our ancestors did not react by running away (flight), fighting, or freezing at every wild thing they encounter, we might not be here.

If our ancestors did not feel FEAR and reacted by flight-fight-freeze, we are not here.

In the modern world, we encounter another form of threats not wild animals anymore.

These could be our boss, our spouse, our parents, our job, the economy, COVID-19, ourselves, and others.

If your boss will suddenly calls you and never does that, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Oh My God, did I do something wrong?

What if your boss will give you undesirable feedback about your job? What do you usually do? Defend yourself? You may show aggression or disgust. Why? Deep down, you are afraid to lose your job and its effect.

Many of our negative thoughts are not real, but they become real to you as you keep thinking about it. As they say, you become what you think.

Your thoughts are energy that you send to the universe. The more you think negative things, the more likely you will attract what you think.

Have you heard people someone tells them that they will die in a specific time and die within that time-frame? Because they put it on their head and people who were told they will die in 2 months but live longer because they change their thinking about it?

That is the power of your thoughts.

So, negative thoughts are automatic for us, but we need to reframe our thoughts to serve our interests.

How are we going to that? I love to journal. So journaling my negative thoughts is one powerful strategy for me to transform my thoughts.

I want to share with you how I transform my negative thoughts.

  1. Write down your negative thoughts. For example, your husband or boyfriend did not remember your anniversary. You think that he must not love you anymore.

  2. Ask yourself if these thoughts are real, imagined, or exaggerated. Gather facts by remembering all the things that your husband did for you and to you (both positive and negative). Then based on facts, identify if it is real, imagined, or exaggerated.

If it is real, ask yourself, what will be the next step. Maybe you need to talk to your husband or boyfriend about it. Perhaps you can add some spices in your relationship to add more spark to it.

If they are imagined, then let it go. If it is exaggerated, what is real?

Maybe you need to evaluate your relationship with your spouse or your boyfriend. Also, perhaps you need to remind your self that men and women are different when it comes to relationships. Or maybe you need to communicate to your spouse what you expected on your anniversaries.

3. Re-frame your thoughts.

If it is imagine, you can say, "My husband/boyfriend forgot our anniversary. It hurt me, but I know he loves me. So, now, I will joyfully and lovingly remind him of our anniversary.”

Sometimes you need to look and scan to see if there is a real threat, and as you see, there is none; you move on by re-framing your negative thoughts.

How about you? How do you re-frame your negative thoughts? Please share in the comments below.

Thank you for reading. If you like this blog, please share this to your friends.



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