top of page

11 effective Tips to try if You Struggle With Self-Love

If you can't love yourself, you can't expect others to love you.

More than 20 years ago, I was lying on my bed. I didn't want to get up. I felt extreme sadness and a feeling of emptiness. It was my struggle for a while, but at this time, my body started to manifest my emotional turmoil. I felt pain all over my body. It was painful even to touch the tips of my hair.

I couldn't explain why I had those feelings. I couldn't tell anyone because I was afraid that I would be misunderstood or judged.

I know I had to go on with my life. Pretending that everything is ok with me. I kept praying to God to help me or let the earth swallow me and let me die.

I went to church every day, tried to do good things to please people and to please my God. But, the abyss that I felt kept going deeper and deeper.

Then, a nun pointed out to me what I was missing-- Love myself.

It made me reflect and realize that I didn't love myself. I think badly about myself.

I learned that by not loving myself, I disconnected myself from the source of love--my God.

I am His channel for love to others. Because I do not love myself, the track is broken.

So as I try to serve and please people, I deplete my love tank. So I tried to get back to the source by going to church and praying, but I couldn't completely get to the source.

What the nun told me was the answer to my prayers. So I asked for help on how I could love myself.

When I learned to love myself, things changed for me. I also feel and understand how deep God's love is for me.

Maybe you are like me before. You experience emptiness in your life, or you feel something is missing in your life. Perhaps that something lacking is yourself.

How can you be happy if you don't love yourself? Having a high degree of self-love makes it easier to take good care of yourself. If you love and respect yourself, others are more likely to respect you, too. When you love yourself, you're more gentle, kind, and considerate with yourself.

Loving yourself is also a way of honoring your God-your Creator.

You can't say that you love God without loving yourself because God is in you.

You are the temple of God (1 Cor. 6:19-20)

Life can be challenging. It's even harder when you're hard on yourself.

Love yourself. Become your best friend. Use these ideas to show yourself more love:

1. Make sleep a priority. Everyone needs sleep. When you don't think very highly of yourself, it's easier for all the things and people in your life to get your time and attention. This could also mean not getting enough sleep as you try to keep up with your responsibilities with others.

2. Nourish your body with healthy food. Show yourself that you're a priority by giving yourself healthy food to eat. Try eating whole food and lessen your intake of highly processed food.

3. Feed your mind with better things. It's not just your body. It's your mind, too. Consider the thoughts, TV, and websites that you're giving your mind to chew on. Are you spending your time the way you would want your children to spend their time?

4. Exercise. Taking care of your body with exercise is a sign of self-love. You don't have to train for a triathlon but get some exercise each day. Find the body movement you like and enjoy doing, so you will be motivated to do it often.

5. . Make time to relax. Rest and relaxation are critical to enjoying life. Schedule time into your day to kick back and do whatever you love to do.

6. Forgive yourself. It's pretty tough to love yourself if you haven't forgiven yourself for your past mistakes and failures. There's nothing you can do about the past, so it only makes sense to let it go and forgive yourself. Learn from your past mistakes. Remember the positive intentions when you make your decisions that you perceive now as a failure. By the way, this saying might help you; it helped me "There are no mistakes done, only lessons to be learned."

7. List your best qualities. Remind yourself of all the fantastic qualities you have. Write down your positive attributes. List them all. You can also ask your good, supportive friends and family about your best characteristics.

8. List your triumphs no matter how small it is. You've done some amazing things. Put them into writing. Reminisce your better moments starting from when you were a child to the present.

9. Spend more time with people who treat you well. If someone in your life regularly looks down on you or always finds fault in you, consider giving them their walking papers. Spend more time instead with people who see your worth and value as a person. Hang out more often with people who inspire you.

10. Start doing the things that make you feel uncomfortable. Are there good ideas that come to your mind but make you feel uncomfortable? Challenge yourself to do it. Let today be the day you start implementing a few of those ideas. Beyond your comfort zone is where your best life resides. Take the steps right now.

Love yourself.

If you can't love yourself, you can't expect others to love you. Love is an energy that you exude and give away. Other people will sense that love, and they will give love back to you. However, if some people will not love you back, it won't affect you that much since you are overflowing with love.

You're the only person you have 24/7. Everyone else is available on a limited basis. So, make yourself a priority in your life. You'll be glad you did!

How about you, how do you express love for yourself? Please share in the comment. We love to hear from you.

If you struggle with loving yourself and need help, schedule a FREE 'love yourself breakthrough' session with me. Visit our website to schedule.



bottom of page