There are times I feel I violate myself for saying, "YES!" To a request, but I do it anyway and rationalize in my head to make my "Yes" the right decision.
Last night, I watched Brendon Burchard, a high-performance coach, and author. He's one of my favorite influencers, and he's talking about saying no and setting boundaries.
While I was listening to him, I reflected on myself because I say yes to many things. I get better at saying "No," but I still need to continue working on it. I struggle to say "No" because I do not want to offend people. Also, I am not comfortable saying "NO" and saying it seems automatic to me.
There are times I feel I violate myself for saying, "YES!" To a request, but I do it anyway and rationalize in my head to make my "Yes" the right decision.
When I was in college, when someone invited me and I did not want to go, I would tell my mom to say that she doesn't want me to go. Of course, my mom would tell me, "Go tell them that you don't want to go."
I remember she told me to say, "NO!" Otherwise, people will take from me what they should not take because I can't say "NO."
I read and heard about people who are abused or taken advantage of people because of their inability to say "NO." I know this is true. So, I started to practice saying, "No." I am becoming better at saying No and setting my boundaries by practice.
When I started to venture into business, I see myself saying "Yes" to many things again. I feel I am chasing on to the next shiny objects that I think will help me with my online business.
Until one day, I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like many people want a piece of me, my time, my resources, and my energy. I am saying, "YES!" To so many things, but I felt I am not going anywhere.
One day I closed my eyes and asked myself, "What are you doing Dolly?" Why are you saying yes to so many things? What is this for you?
Yeah, what is this for me? What is my big why for saying yes? Are my "yeses" bring me closer to my goals? Unfortunately, I am not clear about my goal. I am not so clear on what I really want.
So I decided, to sit down and reflect on what I really want in life and my outcome. I wrote them down in my journal. When I was done, I evaluate all the activities I was doing and see which one will take me closer to my goals.
When I set my goals and my desired outcomes, I started pruning my to-do list.
I am still learning every day, saying "No" to give my best to my "Yes."
I know I'm getting better at managing and protecting my time and resources and setting boundaries for myself.
Do you experience hating a person or dreading a person when he/she comes to you because that person keeps taking from you? Still, you can't say "No?" You hate the person, and also, you hate yourself because you can't say "No!"
Proverbs 25:17 states that "Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house; otherwise, the neighbor will become weary of you and hate you."
The verse is telling us about boundaries. However, it is hard to set boundaries. If you are not aware of your boundaries or keep allowing people to step on your limits, it becomes a habit for you.
It is hard to say "No" to many requests when you do not know the real reason you keep saying "Yes" in the first place. It is essential to develop self-awareness to see yourself and understand your behavior, feelings, and emotions.
You can’t control what you don't know.
As a Christian, I never really fully understand the love of God until I began to have a deeper understanding and awareness of myself. I began to understand the meaning of "I am created in the image and likeness of God" Genesis 1:27 when I develop a certain degree of awareness.
My awareness of God is deepened as I come to know myself. My knowledge of myself has deepened as I come to know my God.
The journey to self-awareness is a continuous process. It is surprising to see something new about yourself every day.
As you allow yourself to wonder and get excited about new discovery about yourself, thank your CREATOR for being self-aware.
Being self-aware will make you understand and accept that you are a unique person. No one is like you. You are special.
Thank you for reading.
How do you set boundaries for yourself? Share your tips in the comments below. If you like the Blog, please share this with your friends.
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